I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
