it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
