ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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