a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
