i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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