one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
