Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my poor anus
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
