You're my little dorito
two words...techno handjob
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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