Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize