Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Randomize
