2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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