its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
