I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
