I need help removing her.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
