WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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