I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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