It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
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