Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
