That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
His hands were made for my vagina.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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