This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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