im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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