He is an equal opportunity slut.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Randomize