If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
