Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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