I hope mine doesn't look like that
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
