Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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