he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
