next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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