GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize