elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
