I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
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