Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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