Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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