well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
