HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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