you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
