I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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