you're like a bully in the Christmas story
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
