My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
