is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize