Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
