know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
