the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Randomize
