She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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