some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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