Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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