so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
