I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Randomize
