I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i now understand why vodka
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
