what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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