yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
She made me pour olive oil on her.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
