Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
