If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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