fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
