Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
