I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
