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• (209): View more from California

  ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  where are you?

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  sonic

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!

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• (714): View more from California

  if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.

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• (320): View more from Minnesota

  there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off

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• (817): View more from Texas

  The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?

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• (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?

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• (438): View more from Quebec

  gladiator or hannah montana?

  (514): View more from Quebec

  This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero

  (618): View more from Illinois

  I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.

  (1-615): View more from Tennessee

  Who in tha hell do u hang out with?

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.

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• (650): View more from California

  Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.

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• (901): View more from Tennessee

  So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.

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