I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize