Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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